Thursday, May 7, 2009

Mother's Day or Mothers' Day

I was never "aware" of Mother’s Day until my daughter first went to pre-school. Since then I’ve been the happy recipient of trinkets from her (school) with cute cards and cliched statements like “you are the best mother in the whole world”.

Don’t get me wrong, I am quite thrilled to receive these trinkets (mainly because they are hand-made trinkets, and not some gifts from the mall) and I have them all stored away like a treasure, but on many levels I am not a big “Mother’s Day” person .

What is supposed to be a sentimental expression celebrating all mothers and their service to the community has completely morphed into a for-profit commercialized rigmarole mainly celebrating the domestic service rendered by moms! A day in the spa to make up for all the time you were covered in poop and vomit, or a diamond ring for all the time you did the laundry. Case in point: As i am typing this, Google thought it relevant to present me with ads like "Mother's Day Coupons", "Mother's Day Flags", "Hot Gardening Gifts"... and I don't even have a garden, which i should, to qualify for the "Super mom" points.

While "Mom" is the most perfect descriptor of myself these days, I still remember my pre-mom days and the social pressure both obvious and sublime on "old maids" like myself who at the grand old age of 30 still did not get to celebrate "Mother's Day" **sigh**. To me one of the unintended consequences of Mother's Day is one more source of social pressure on women everywhere, seeming to remind them one more time, the reason they were put on earth - to go forth and procreate!

With all the media circus around the octo-mom, celebrity moms who look sexier than ever even after the birth of twins, women in 40s delivering babies and being successful at the careers, super nannies on Television telling you how to be a better mom, Breast-feeding evangelists who can make you feel inadequate with just one look for choosing the bottle, and the emerging class of "green moms"who can give you 25 reasons in 5 seconds on why you should not use disposable diapers..... hey, that Spa certificate doesn't look all that bad right now!

So this mother's day while I will still take pleasure in attending a breakfast celebration at my daughter's school I've also resolved to
1) not keep harping on the glory of motherhood at every occasion
2) stop feeling guilty about failing to be a supermom. (It's OK if she ate Mac&Cheese one night for dinner!)
3) Stop offering free parenting advice to moms who don't want any (especially on breast feeding and being green!)
4) Appreciate my mom more on regular days
5) take part in more community activities instead of blaming everything on my domestic duties in the true spirit of Mother's Day

That's a wrap!