It has been 3 weeks since I finished "In the country of men" by Hisham Matar, and i am still "marinating" (to use a borrowed expression from a friend) in the experience. This book has stayed with me long after I've returned it to the library, and I've been touched by it enough that I've watched countless interviews with Hisham Matar on youtube and replayed his interview with the BBC world book club multiple times. Although not autobiographical, the story is inspired by Matar's personal
experiences of losing his dissident father to the Qaddafi regime and being forced to live in
exile.
Any comparison between "In the Country of Men" with the "Kite Runner" is, in my mind very superficial. Yes, both deal with young boys growing up under brutal regimes, trying to get closer to their dads and dealing with betrayal and guilt. While it does look like they have more things in common I personally think In the Country of Men is in a different league.
As a mom I often think about how open and honest I should be with my 8year old especially when it comes to explaining the "grown up" world - how do you explain loss of life to natural disasters, mass shootings, death in the family, loss of a job, poverty etc. I constantly grapple with nurturing her idealism - "I want everything in this world to be fair, everyone should win, everyone should have fun", was her bedtime wish last night - and at the same time exposing her to day-to-day realism. Luckily I live in a part of the world where she doesn't have to grow up too fast and where I don't have to weave a complex web of lies everyday, just to protect her.
Najwa, the mom who is the central character of the book, doesn't have it easy like me. How does she survive "In the country of men"? Simply by turning to her "medicine" and cloaking her son with a web of lies. Everytime her husband Faraj leaves the home to engage in Anti-Qaddafi activities, Najwa seeks solace in the bottle. She shields her young son Suleiman from the brutal realities around him with such fierceness that the boy gravitates towards some unseemly characters who are with the regime purely because they don't shield him.
The stage for the story is set in the neighborhood of Mulberry street, and the only mulberry tree that has remained is in the compound of Ustad Rashid. That is not the only reason why that compound stands out. Ustad Rashid is taken away one day by the "Guide's" men accused of treason and in one of the most harrowing scenes in the novel he meets his end at a public hanging with the whole nation witnessing the hanging in person or through television. When it is time for Faraj to be taken by the Guide's men he doesn't meet with the same end thanks to Najwa's initiatives.
As a reader one is able to comprehend what the 9 year old Suleiman is unable to, but I found it very hard to digest Suleiman's acts of betrayal. I found myself wanting Suleiman to be more righteous and do the right thing despite living in horrific situations. Hisham Matar on the other hand passes no judgements on those dissidents who "betray" their comrades under the circumstances. When a whole nation is suffering from collective psychosis what can one say about bravery or betrayal? Whether one chooses to live under the oppression of the regime or leave to live in exile one carries a burden that is not easy to get rid off.
Any comparison between "In the Country of Men" with the "Kite Runner" is, in my mind very superficial. Yes, both deal with young boys growing up under brutal regimes, trying to get closer to their dads and dealing with betrayal and guilt. While it does look like they have more things in common I personally think In the Country of Men is in a different league.
As a mom I often think about how open and honest I should be with my 8year old especially when it comes to explaining the "grown up" world - how do you explain loss of life to natural disasters, mass shootings, death in the family, loss of a job, poverty etc. I constantly grapple with nurturing her idealism - "I want everything in this world to be fair, everyone should win, everyone should have fun", was her bedtime wish last night - and at the same time exposing her to day-to-day realism. Luckily I live in a part of the world where she doesn't have to grow up too fast and where I don't have to weave a complex web of lies everyday, just to protect her.
Najwa, the mom who is the central character of the book, doesn't have it easy like me. How does she survive "In the country of men"? Simply by turning to her "medicine" and cloaking her son with a web of lies. Everytime her husband Faraj leaves the home to engage in Anti-Qaddafi activities, Najwa seeks solace in the bottle. She shields her young son Suleiman from the brutal realities around him with such fierceness that the boy gravitates towards some unseemly characters who are with the regime purely because they don't shield him.
The stage for the story is set in the neighborhood of Mulberry street, and the only mulberry tree that has remained is in the compound of Ustad Rashid. That is not the only reason why that compound stands out. Ustad Rashid is taken away one day by the "Guide's" men accused of treason and in one of the most harrowing scenes in the novel he meets his end at a public hanging with the whole nation witnessing the hanging in person or through television. When it is time for Faraj to be taken by the Guide's men he doesn't meet with the same end thanks to Najwa's initiatives.
As a reader one is able to comprehend what the 9 year old Suleiman is unable to, but I found it very hard to digest Suleiman's acts of betrayal. I found myself wanting Suleiman to be more righteous and do the right thing despite living in horrific situations. Hisham Matar on the other hand passes no judgements on those dissidents who "betray" their comrades under the circumstances. When a whole nation is suffering from collective psychosis what can one say about bravery or betrayal? Whether one chooses to live under the oppression of the regime or leave to live in exile one carries a burden that is not easy to get rid off.
