Mama, Do you Love me?

I haven't posted anything here in a long time, but this week's events have forced me to sit down and process my thoughts. Some of you may have heard of this book "Mama, Do You Love Me?" by Barbara M. Joosse. If you look it up you will see that it is a book highly recommended for toddlers. A beautiful board book with illustrations depicting the Inuit culture telling the tale of an everlasting, unconditional love that a mother has for her child.


I believe this is a book that everyone should read and re-read throughout their lives. I certainly do. The mother in the book is at times frustrated, worried, anxious, saddened, and even angry as her daughter challenges her and pushes boundaries but throughout all she assures her little one that she truly loves her no matter what. As a mother of a teen, I can attest to the wisdom in this book. Naturally, teenagers test boundaries. Living with a teen means living with eye-rolls, tantrums, misunderstandings and conflict. But throughout all of this there is an underlying feeling of unconditional love that a parent provides to a child. Unconditional love does not mean no boundaries, no criticism, no feedback, or no conflict. On the contrary, as I remind my teen often, all the guidelines, suggestions, and even criticism comes from a place of caring deeply. And, yes there are times when I am wrong or over critical but the fine tuning and adjustment is part of the process.

What does a toddler's book have to do with the political events of this week? A lot! This week an immigrant politician has been asked to 'go home' as she is not able to see the 'flawless' nature of her adopted country. Her love for her country is questioned because she has been quick to criticize this beautiful nation. Does loving a country unconditionally means turning a blind eye to all its problems? Is it wrong to criticize the fact that universal healthcare is still a pipe dream, homelessness and the struggle for equal pay or living wage is still ongoing in a nation that boasts unprecedented wealth? What about lack of leadership in climate change or how we deal with migrant children at our borders? Is our Union so perfect that all these struggles are just "fake news" and conspiracies? Aren't the voices of the people in Flint, Michigan, the activists in Black Lives Matter, or the #Metoo movements speaking truth to power? What I truly love about my country is that dissent and discourse is not just tolerated but welcomed. Hyphenated identities were in the long run seen as enriching the culture of the US and not a blemish or a blight to be eradicated. "A more perfect Union" is what the Founding Fathers aspired to and shouldn't that be the goal of every citizen? How can we find solutions if we don't even want to acknowledge the problems.

Love does not mean being blind to faults. Love does not mean not being honest. Love certainly does not mean cover-ups or wishing away problems. The little girl in "Mama, Do You Love Me?" totally gets this. Otherwise we would've been reading about a spoiled brat with removed-from-reality, snow plowing parents who leave her totally unprepared for life's inevitable challenges!