Caste - the monkey on our backs

My daughter has been reading Caste by Isabel Wilkerson as part of her summer reading assignment for school. This has led to some very uncomfortable yet thought-provoking, must-have conversations at our home. She posed this question to me the other day "Did her parents' caste contribute to her life of privilege in the US?" Just for some context I should say we've been having these discussions around privilege since the early days of BLM. As someone who came of age during the Trump presidency my daughter has not been shielded from uncomfortable questions. She hated it when she was classified as a "person of color" (POC) not because she denies she is one, but because she knows that despite being the daughter of immigrants, her tech-worker parents did not experience the trauma of immigration and she was in a place of privilege. By being labelled a "person of color" she felt she was taking the spotlight away from others who have truly suffered because of the color of their skin. We've spent a good part of the past four years trying to help her deal with the guilt of privilege despite being a "POC" and so I was hesitant to open another can of worms when it came to our caste. Around the time she was reading Wilkerson, I've been reading Ambedkar's Annihilation of Caste and Yengde's Caste Matters and this topic was swirling inside my brain. So I decided to first answer her question - How did her parents' caste (Brahmin) in India contribute to her privilege in the US? I came up with this list as the sources of my privilege

1. Precedence: The journey of our lives (high school to engineering to Masters in the US to working in the US) has been undertaken by countless others in our social circle that this was a road well traveled by members of our caste.
2. Education emphasis: This was a huge factor in our lives. Brahmins = learning was something ingrained in our psyche over millennia. So high expectations for academic achievements was something of a norm.
   
3. Art education: Even the poorest in our caste were exposed to the arts. It was considered almost a necessity and there were a number of role models to look up to in any field from classical to popular.
   
4. Confidence: Although intangible this was priceless and came from a source that goes back many many generations
5. English Language Fluency: English newspapers, works of literature, movies/ music were part and parcel of everyday life.

As you can see not once did I mention wealth, because our families were not wealthy by any means. Our ancestors didn't own land or huge properties. But it didn't matter as in most cases every generation ended up being a bit better than its previous one. Every individual's story is unique but some combination of the above 5 factors can be traced in everyone who is now in the US even those who have denounced the shackles of caste. We can all fool ourselves into thinking that it was pure meritocracy that got us here, but there is no denying the cushion that has been afforded by the caste over thousand years.

Here I was happily living in a bubble that I had shed my caste when I immigrated. Our daughter has not been forced to learn Carnatic music, we hardly go to the local temple, the house explicitly avoids any overt symbols of our caste or even religion, I've volunteered for groups that work in India with denotified tribes, landless laborers, migrant rights and protested Modi's handling of Godhra when he was the Chief Minister of Gujarat and Modi's Hindu nationalism. I gave up milk & ghee (staple for my caste), silk and leather when I turned vegan two decades back. I have felt suffocated by a highly ritualistic culture that enforced patriarchy in every aspect of its rituals that I rejected many of them. I questioned our scriptures treatment of women and found my religion in nature. But then it dawned on me that caste was like a monkey on my back. There were numerous coded behaviors and the invisible cushion that I failed to see / chose to not see / conveniently ignored.

So where does all this leave me? I know guilt alone is not enough. It has to be turned into positive action. This is important especially when raising a very sensitive child who is sometimes overwhelmed by the burdens the world imposes on her generation for faults that were not of their making. For her, I've always recommended two things 

1. Not to be driven by an "achievement /entitlement mindset" in anything she undertakes. Instead focus on learning and helping others around her learn and grow. I have seen her live by this especially in high school. She understands the importance of leveling the playing field be it through affirmative action or reservations and knows that every child starts the race at a different point depending on the uterus they were born to. So yes while she takes pride in her "achievements" she is trying to not let that define her.
   
2. Volunteering, not for the sake of showing something on your resume, but because you truly care. Since she was 7 she has been doing this in her community and nothing gives her more satisfaction than working with her hands and speaking up for other species.

I have realized that these two things have personally helped me with my own journey. The one other thing I have learned from her is to always give people a second chance. She was bullied by a kid in school and even when upset she was trying to find the source for that kid's meanness. Our pasts influence us in positive and negative ways and knowing where someone is coming from can lead to a better understanding of the other.

Regarding questions of caste I am inspired by the four simple strategies Ambedkar offers

1. Denounce religion based on rules and instead adopt one based on principles - fraternity, equality and liberty. This is a type of religion I can subscribe to. I have hated rule based religion all my life as it always made women bear the brunt of it. I now see how rule based religion fuels casteist ideals. This doesn't mean you have to give up your food, your clothing, your art, your symbols. Just being aware that the other person's food/art/clothing/symbols mean something significant to them and making sure our own symbols don't violate the principles of fraternity, equality and liberty is a good place to start.
   
2. Be selective and prune and transmit only what is useful to the next generation. The concept of the goddess, the worship of nature, the individual soul's relationship to the world's soul, the accommodation of different practices - these are some of the most beautiful concepts of "Hinduism." The rituals and codes that classify and rank people is a deprecated function. I only partially joke when I tell my daughter - just watch Avatar: The Last Airbender (the TV show, not the movie please). It has distilled all the good things about many of the Oriental philosophies that are truly magnificent.
   
3. Let not the past dictate all your ideals. Just because something has been around for 2000 years doesn't automatically make it ideal. It took courage to reject Aristotle (who has been right about many things and spectacularly wrong about many other things) before the scientific revolution could truly take place. While it is OK to take pride in a civilization that is thousands of years old it is important to acknowledge when that pride results in shackles.
4. Consider nothing is fixed and change is a way of life. There needs to be a constant revolution of old values. We appreciate this in every other aspect of life. My favorite artists are the impressionists, not just because they started to represent a world that I know and see with my eyes but also because they rejected the Salon and their rules. Shakespeare borrowed liberally from Virgil and others before him but made it his own. Stories can be timeless but how we tell them can and should change. Last week I watched Dev Patel as Gawain. Gawain is a tale from the 14th century. I am sure the Gawain poet never imagined that one day an Indian man would play Sir Gawain in a new and improved interpretation of his work. But this new interpretation has opened up his poem to millions who would have never heard of this tale otherwise. 

I am still on this journey and my own beliefs have changed/ are changing and are evolving that I am sure I sound like a hypocrite at times. When I feel bogged down by my own hypocrisy I remember that beautiful quote from Brandon Sanderson's Oathbringer "sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a person in the process of changing." For now I am OK to be a hypocrite as long as I am changing for the better.