Saturday, March 28, 2009

On Fathers and Daughters

As I sat thinking about the beautiful friendship I shared with my dad, I suddenly realized that maybe that was the reason i was drawn to certain novels which portrayed this relationship very well.

So here is my list of characters(both fathers and daughters) which I think all fathers and daughters who (want to) share this unique bond could easily identify with, making these novels a must read for them!

1) Atticus and Scout in "To Kill a Mocking Bird"
2) Mr.Bennett and Lizzy in "Pride and Prejudice"
3) Paresh Babu and Lolita in Tagore's "Gora"
4) Dr.Gibson and Molly in "Wives and Daughters"
5) Mr.Caleb Garth and Mary in "MiddleMarch"

While all the daughter characters were quite different from each other, the father characters all shared a few things in common. They were all
  • Calm and collected even under extreme stress
  • Men of high integrity and values
  • Highly respected for the above 2, despite being not the richest or most powerful person in their community
  • Very respectful of their daughter's opinions while at the same time providing the much needed stability/support in their lives
My dad was all of the above to me and I hope my husband will be the same for my daughter. After all as Spencer Tracy remarks in "Father of the Bride" (which incidentally was the movie my dad and I watched before my own wedding), "My son is my son till he gets a wife, My daughter is my daughter all my life"

So here's to all the Fathers and Daughters of the world!

That's a wrap!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

"Give them our love but not our thoughts" - What? How?

These days we are listening to "Sweet Honey in the Rock" and one song that is getting repeated play at our home is Khalil Gibran's "On Children" sung by Sweet Honey.... Wanted to share the lyrics here

Your Children
They are not your children
They are the sons and the daughters of Life, longing for itself
They come through you but they are not from you
And though they are with you, they belong not to you

You can give them your love but not your thoughts
They have their own thoughts
You can house their bodies but not their souls
'Cos their souls dwell in a place of tomorrow
That you cannot visit not even in your dreams
You can strive to be like them,
But you cannot make them just like you


As you can tell from the title of the post those two lines got my husband and i thinking. Our child is trying to ape everything we do. Granted that has made us more responsible about what we do, say, and even think! Now is that equivalent to giving our child "our thoughts"?

As I watched the debate on Prop 8 unfurl last year, I was amazed to see the number of young kids (some still in diapers and strollers!) out there carrying banners for / against Prop 8, I was wondering do the kids really understand what they are doing out there... a clear case of parents giving them their love AND their own thoughts!

That made me think of my own. Here is our child growing up "accepting" that "Tom's of Maine" is a cooler toothpaste brand than Dora's, believing that "The Nation" is to mommy as "Lady Bug" is to her, capable of picking Gandhi, Howard Zinn, Naomi Klein, Arundathi Roy, Chomsky out of a line-up if they are ever in one (and they look like their mug shots on the back cover of their books), and incidentally loves to sing the above mentioned song... constantly reminding us that "we can give her our love but not our thoughts".

I am not trying to make her like me (or am I?) but I don't know any other way to bring her up. I guess the key takeaway is for us to be there giving her the tools to make good choices while accepting of what/who she becomes as she starts asserting herself and making her own decisions beyond choosing what to wear or what to eat today!

That's a wrap!

Monday, March 23, 2009

An anglophile...who me?

After 200 years of British Raj in India, one cannot deny the overwhelming influence of the British among Indians, so when one of my friends accused me of being an Anglophile (in jest of course)it got me thinking.

Look at all the things I favor!

1) Favorite comedy: Fawlty towers and the Yes Minister series
2) Favorite car: Mini Cooper (although i dont drive one!)
3) Favorite children's author: Enid Blyton (despite the stereotyped gender roles that i can now see in some of her books)
4) Favorite Band: Radiohead
5) Favorite classics writers: Doyle, E.M.Forster,Austen, Gaskell, Eliot.....
6) Favorite comedy writer: Wodehouse
7) Favorite news channel: BBC without a doubt (I get so many of their podcasts - Global news, Analysis, Sky@night, Documentaries etc)
8) Movies/TV: Here Hollywood triumphs, but i make sure i get my yearly dose of the Brit/Irish movies (recently watched Mrs.Brown, In Bruges). My favorite TV show these days is "House" and that has everything to do with Hugh Laurie
9) Favorite Grandslam: Wimbledon (that had more to do with Becker than with England though!)
10)Huge points for public transportation Vs the US!

What i don't/didn't like:

1) Cricket - grew up liking it, now cant stand it
2) English soccer league - preferred the Italian league and the Italian team to England (don't follow it these days)
3) Food - that doesn't need any further explanation does it! (although I should give them a few points for their vegetarian options even in Fast food joints!)
4) Castles - there are just one too many!
5) Obsession with the Monarchy
6) Ticket prices for museums - they fleece you to see everything that they looted from the rest of the world!
7) The Blair Bush love fest
8) Weather
9) Legacy of colonialism - Growing up in India, being stuck with so many of their meaningless rules and laws from Grammar to civic life
10) CCTV nation


So does it all even out, or am I still an anglophile? Hmmmm.....

That's a wrap!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Walk for Water

My 2nd consecutive day of getting out of my comfortable armchair. This one was for a 5K walk organized by PCI to raise awareness of water issues and support projects in Africa. About a 1000 people braved the rain and turned up for the walk and I was one of them.

Just a decade ago living in another corner of the world i've walked a bit for water so i am someone who was taught to appreciate how priceless water is. So I had to raise a couple of points with PCI on how they organized the event.

I was uncomfortable with the fact that the event was sponsored by Nika water, a bottled water company with a twist - 100% of their profits support developmental projects in Africa and they are carbon neutral certified. This was the rationale provided by PCI when my friend and i raised this issue with them. But our objection was not just to the plastic, i have a problem with issue of privatizing water and bottled water is the most visible facet of this privatization. To PCI's credit, they acknowledged that they didnt think about this aspect and that they will discuss this.

Overall a good day! Enjoyed the walk, the company, the weather, the view and to top it all came back home in time for a delicious lunch with the family and if my walk indeed reduces the water burden on a little girl... hey can't complain!

That's a wrap!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Got out of my Armchair...after 6 years!

After being an armchair activist for 6 years complaining about the war, I finally got out of it and did something today! Took part in a march to commemorate the 6th anniversary of Iraq war demanding "Money for Jobs and education, not for wars and occupation". True to the anti-war nature of the protest it was a peaceful one. It was heartening to see the young and old together in such a protest.

Photos from the event

I heard somewhere that the "New Deal" was a direct result of people taking to the streets demanding a New Deal! So if we expect Obama to do a "FDR" then the onus is on the citizenry to spur him into action.

Had an interesting conversation with an Obama grassroots worker who was trying to get signatures to support the President's economic stimulus plan, his healthcare, education and "green" policies. I brought up the question of single-payor healthcare and how that seemed to have vanished from the Obama administration and she was trying to convince me that that's the job of the Left/Progressives to apply the pressure on the administration so that these issues are part of the national agenda, which i totally agree, but at the same time i am skeptical largely due to the people in the current administration.

Long story short, it was an interesting 2 hour rally to be part of and as I looked around the crowd it suddenly looks like "socialists" are coming out of the closet and socialism is in vogue in the new America with a President who is labeled a "Socialist"!

That's a wrap!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

What's up with U2?

I admit this is a band that I've loved over many years now, so I kinda felt "obliged" to go out and buy "No line on the horizon" and ... I was utterly disappointed :( I felt like they are trying hard to get back to their roots in alternative music, but all that came out was sugary pop with some hummable tunes and meaningless lyrics! I think their magic ended with "Achtung Baby" with some hit singles following that.

The stature of the band has grown immensely over the years with all the causes that they support, but I should say I didn't like the whole "Red campaign" which somehow justified consumerism as long as it was for a good cause. Not a responsible thing to advocate in this day and age in my view.

Anyway, I am still listening to "No Line"...maybe repeated listening will work or should I just wait for Radiohead's next?

That's a wrap!

Water Related Organizations

The following two groups are responsible for me becoming more water-aware in my life.

1) International Rivers Network
2) Narmada Bachao Andolan

Both these organizations have been valuable as myth-busters on a number of issues that I have previously considered as facts and learned to accept as the "scientific-truth"

Myths in point:

1) Hydro power is a clean source of renewable energy
2) Big dams are the most effective means of relieving the world from water shortages
3) Development and Hydro-power projects go together

By shattering these 3 myths for me, these organizations helped me understand more complex issues surrounding water, politics and human rights and I take this opportunity to Salute them!

World Water Day

With world water day just around the corner, I thought it apt to begin my blogging with some thoughts on water issues. Growing up in a water -constrained, rapidly expanding metro back in India, water scarcity has been in my face during my tween/teen years. I remember the long hours of “pumping” that my friends and I would do, or carrying buckets of water from our community well to our home. My dad was not an activist or conservationist by any means. In fact he was just an average man with a lot of common sense and the right values. He would ration our water by buckets and when we protested he managed to convince us that you really don’t need more than 3/4th of a bucket to wash yourself clean. It was OK to lose money, but losing the “catch” water from the washing machine was a "punishable offence:)" in our household . These experiences have stayed with me over the years and therefore made me more sensitive to water issues. I can’t help thinking that my child growing up in South Western United States might have to deal with acute water shortages in her life time, and the lessons I learned from my father in a different corner of the world are valuable enough to be passed on to her.