The Big Fat Royal Wedding

Thanks to news channels accidentally stumbling upon some real news to report like the Bin Laden execution, we were spared the excruciating details of William and Kate's 54th kiss, the dress she wore for the tea on the 9th day following the wedding, or their honeymoon plans. Now before you conclude I am some sort of a Republican riling against the Monarchists, let me remind you that the last time i checked I don't hold Her Majesty's passport, so it is not really upto me. My objections are more personal -  the princess dream which every girl is supposed to secretly harbor is now suddenly deemed possible , and the celebrity culture that to borrow the famous Taibbi phrase, like a “vampire squid” has ts giant arms wrapped around every single media outlet.


Don't get me wrong. I am all for two people finding happiness in love and choosing to solemnize their relationship and I wish them every happiness. What I object to is non-subjects being subjected to unwanted intrusions into their lives. In a weird case of reverse-wedding crashers, William and Kate crashed into my life and the only way I could get away from them was to unplug my TV, never launch a browser or shut my eyes in the supermarket checkout counter and close my ears in any gathering. I am fully aware that the couple in question are not to blame,after all if 8000 "journalists" felt the compelling need to land in London with their telephoto lenses (some of which looked like mini-telescopes that could actually gaze at some real stars), what can royalty do? It is after all not the 1800s when they could banish or cut their heads off. Suddenly one wedding to a "commoner" (i don't think she is from a council flat in manchester... still a "commoner" by royalty standards, i guess) made the royal family more accessible and get this relevant! Yeah, in the year of the Arab spring when autocratic regimes with long past "use by" dates were being thrown out by popular rising, an institution that is outdated by at least a century is deemed to have become relevant again!! 


Onto my second level of objection. As a woman and a mother of a little girl I have enough trouble from princesses of the Disney variety. I've written about this before. So I won't repeat it. I don't know Kate's biography, but suddenly her sole achievement as characterized by the media seems to be successfully snaring a prince, which after all is supposed to be every girl's secret dream! Now that is a message I don't ever want to communicate to my girl. Every time someone addresses my daughter as a "princess" i wince a little inside. That word is too closely associated with pink, tiaras and girliness of the kind that is 100% dependent on someone else. Relevant, role model, real - i don't expect any of this to come from today's mainstream media or popular culture. So i resorted to my trusted antidote -"The paperbag princess"! Mandatory reading according to me for every star-struck, princess possessed, celebrity crazy 4 year old or 40 year old.


So, Kate and William, I have one suggestion to make. Please announce the birth of your first child from the DRC or Haiti - two countries which can use some real journalists and media attention, and then the monarchy can truly claim to be relevant ... well ... almost!

OBOC - Ghana

Easy to read but difficult to stomach, I finished Amma Darko’s Faceless in under 4 hours and that is testimony to the power of simple writing and gripping storytelling. Set in some of the most notorious slums in Accra including one aptly titled “Sodom and Gomorrah” the story is about neglected street children and their struggle to carry on living in horrific conditions.  In a society where barenness is a sin and fertility is worshipped, irresponsible parents who have many mouths to feed do the unthinkable – push the older kids out of their homes to fend for themselves into a world where rape, prostitution, drugs and alcohol are rampant.

Faceless is Fofo’s story. Forced out of her home by her own mother Maa Tsuru who had to care for younger kids, Fofo is a resident of Sodom and Gomorroah. Her sister Baby T who was sold into prostitution in Agbogbloshie  is found brutally murdered and all leads point to Poison the uncrowned king of the streets known for his brutality. Fofo seeks the help of Kabira one of the 4 women belonging to the organization MUTE (an alternate repository of knowledge not found in books) to unravel the mystery. With support from the local media, the women of MUTE succeed in solving the murder and also rescue and rehabilitate Fofo.

As you can see from the plot, it was a very hard book to read, especially some passages where it is very hard to imagine a world like Sodom and Gomorrah. There is an amazing passage in the book when Kabira meets Fofo after she spent a couple of nights away from the slum in the safety of Dina's (the founder of MUTE) home. Within the security of Dina's home Fofo is finally able to drop her guard as getting through the day is no longer a burden. Fofo transforms into the fragile, shy, adolescent 14 year old girl that she really is. Kabira's own "lucky kids" who take for granted parental love and security are in complete contrast to Fofo. Their biggest challenge is convincing their mom to buy the latest Lord Kenya album, while Fofo's challenge is avoid getting raped by Poison. 

Despite the bleak theme, I couldn't put down the novel because of the writing. Simple, yet brilliant, Amma Darko manages to inject humor when she can, and has successfully portrayed wide ranging characters in such a short novel. From the wise old Naa Yomo a treasure trove of information, to Kabira's mildly chauvinistic husband Adade, to the policeman who is making do with what he has, to the extremely resourceful women of MUTE, and Sylv Po the radio personality, and Creamy, Kabira's beaten up old Beetle there were so many small characters who managed to stand out. This is slum dog millionaire but without the Bollywood/Hollywood glitz and glamor.

In the end the novel raises some profound questions - who is responsible for robbing the childhood of millions of children? Should the parents be held accountable? What about the state? What kind of a society are we becoming if we allow a modern day Sodom and Gomorroah crop up in a city? What about corporations that come in and uproot people and push them to the fringes when they try to grab resources? And finally what about god? How does he fit in? The white man's god who doesnt even look like the people who worship him, can he understand their plight? And what can one say of the institution that came in with god's words in one hand, and guns in the other? To the western world, the face of Ghana is probably Kofi Annan. Amma Darko portrays the faceless of Ghana - one crime solved, one girl rescued but countless others who have no representation.